Are you struggling with addictive relationships?
Addictive relationships are painful to be in and yet feel impossible to leave. The more you search for comfort of closeness and safety, the deeper you sink into a quicksand pf despair. Part of healing an addiction requires learning what you needed in the first place. Sex and love addiction is an attempt to re-create your mother’s love.
Mother hunger is an attachment failure. The bonding at birth with your mother didn’t happen or was somehow fractured. All of these experiences imprint on the daughter’s brain.
Our culture holds motherhood on a pedestal. We find this extremely difficult to talk about. As a population, our cultural expectations of having a good mother are extraordinarily high. We all have a legitimate need for our mother’s love, support, and understanding. Often times women with sex and love addiction don’t think it’s necessary to examine the relationship with mom, but this appraisal is vital to long term sobriety from sex and love addiction. Since out first relationship in the world is with our mother, her love and attention (or neglect, abuse, immaturity) sets the relational template for life.
Research proves that the early relationship with mother and child neurologically imprints on the infant’s nervous system, becoming a template for future emotional relationships. Maternal attachment affects mental health. For women struggling with sex and love addiction, examining the maternal connection is critical to healing addictive patterns of relating to others. Avoiding this important reality can cause delays in recovery and mental wellness. Sex and love addiction is a longing for intimacy. Since love, connection, and sexual intimacy are basic human needs, healing addictive patterns and relationships prepare you to give and receive love in healthy ways.
McDaniel, Kelly (2012). Ready to Heal. Carefree, Arizona: Gentle Path Press.